My LiFE oN bEd ReST

This last week as I have been waiting for this nasty kidney stone to pass my doctor put me on bed rest because the pain could send me in to labor and the less I am up and about the better my chances are of not going in to labor. It has been a very scary,difficult week to say the least. I have not been able to go to work, or go anywhere. It has been depressing but I will do whatever I have to do for my baby's safety. Last night Greg got home from work and I was in tears , mostly from the pain but also from being so bored here at home and also this whole pregnancy I have been so nauseous and  it gets worse when I am sitting home not doing anything. My little princess does not like her mommy being lazy . Last night  Greg was holding me as I was sobbing and he just went quiet for a minute, this is unusual because he usually says things like "it's ok honey everything will be fine" but I think he actually could feel how sad and how much in pain I really was in. After a minute he just kissed my for head and said "I'm sorry honey,I really am" and he sounded very choked up as he said it. I wanted to reach up and kiss him but he never cries and when he does I try not to make a big deal of it because he hates it when I do make a big deal about it .After that he gave me my 4th blessing of the week and we watched a movie. I felt so much better after the blessing of course but today Greg took my car to his dentist apt. He called me as he was coming home and said "come outside for a minute" I grabbed Jax and went outside to greet him only to find my car clean ,some yummy cupcakes from the the sweet tooth fairy (if u have never had one of their cupcakes go get in your car now and drive to the nearest one , they are fabulous) ,three shirts,two pairs of colored skinnies and two necklaces! I am so spoiled. I think Greg was so worried about how sad I was he wanted to cheer me up the best way he knew how by pampering me! I seriously have thee best husband EVER! and I must say my husband has really good taste ha ha. Greg had taken the morning off for his apt and to spend time with me and I told him that was enough for me that he just was home to be with me and that the gifts were just nice extras. I love him so much and he means the world to me. I am so blessed to spend eternity with him and to be the mother of his baby girl. 

~catch up~

I am trying to get back into this blogger thing I have been super busy & a lot has been going on. I use to blog all the time so I have been slacking!! So let's get started with the hubs & I ....We are doing so good, he works so much so I value my time with him when we have it. I am so thankful for having him for eternity.

 As you all already know back in May I accomplished something very important to me that I never thought I could get through but I am so happy I stuck with it. Some things are going on that Greg & I are setting our minds on & hope for the best we would really like to start a family when that will be who knows but we are very happy right now, no rush at all. I use to stress about it & think how fair is it that these 16 year old girls get pregnant on accident but when I want a baby so bad we can't get pregnant? I do not have a lot of patience so I am always being tested by the lord with that it gets so irritating but I have to have faith, I always think back to my patriarchal blessing and it says my husband & I  would be blessed with children so I am holding on to that!! All I know is that when we do have our baby we will be more than ready we have grown a lot & have had to put selfishness aside I use to care so much about myself how I looked, what people thought of me, always having my way......well 2 yrs later and I havn't changed completely but have changed a lot.

 My priorities in life our first the lord which means obeying his commandments going to church each week,prayer & scripture,dressing modestly,respect my husband,humbling myself & attending the temple! than comes my husband who I need to cherish & have respect for as he for I. I look at a lot of couples & think  WOW I have so much respect for my husband & the lord to ever go out in public wearing things like that or to ever participate in things that married woman just don't do especially yell & put down my husband , it really amazes me how many woman I see taking their husbands for grandet. When I married Greg in the temple I made myself a promise that through my actions I would show him respect,faithfulness,love & happiness. To me that meant something really special being able to be in the house of the lord with my eternal companion ,best friend, & the love of my life I commited to him to be his & his only!!! Anyways this blog is all over the place I just had so many things on my mind &!Hopefully I'll be able to keep on the blog thing again.

ChaLLeNgEs & TriALs

My favorite thing in life  to remember is "u have to go through the hard times to appreciate the good  in life" This is exactly how I am feeling & when I get down I think about this & now that things are starting to get better financially for me & Greg & he has a great job I think back on all we have been through financially because of my health issues. We truly appreciate all the blessings we are recieving . Would life be better if me & Greg both had been graduated before we got married & were already in our careers ya I guess so. But everything happens for a reason & the lord doesn't give us these struggles to fail in life, He gives them to us because he knows we can get through them otherwise he would not give them to us.

We read a scripture the other night that talked about this exact same thing & I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I just cried so much when we read that because it made me see things a whole lot different. I had been so negative thinking life would be so much better if these things didn't happen to us & I had better health but once I sat down & really thought about it, it really wouldn't because now we both know the importance of Challenges & trials in life & we both are thankful for them because we know true happiness & joy & appreciate it more. I am not saying people who have it easy don't appreciate true happiness I don't wish any unhappiness on anybody but I am just so thankful me & Greg are now being blessed & worked very hard for it. When I was growing up I always thought I was going to marry somebody already in there profession & life would be so perfect & wonderful all the time, than I met Greg & I can honestly say the guys I dated before him were older rich guys- that sounds bad I mean they weren't old but older ha ha. But I found true happiness & love with Greg he is the most hardworking caring person ever. He is so devoted & has high goals & I could never go through life with anybody but him. we are only 24 & 23 so we are both still young & have school to get through but I wouldn't have it any other way I will stick through thick & thin with my amazing husband just like he stayed by my side when I had to go to the emergency room 3 times in 2 months with no insurance it was very hard for both of us. It however humbled us so much & now we are so thankful for our blessings. But in life we just have to keep trying & trying and never let the bad get us down because in the end it will all be worth it!!!

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HaPpY nEwS

Greg & I are happy to announce that surgery went well today!!! I am truly blessed. We were very stressed about it being something serious but turns out I just was stressed & not taking care of my body. One of my biggest fears was that all these health issues I have been having would effect my fertility but doc says we will have tons of healthy babies. I could not be happier. I am glowing & extremely relieved. I am going to be able to start school this tuesday the 17th & cannot wait to get my life back. I just want to take this time to express my thanks & gratitude to all our family & friends who have kept us in their prayers. & for all your blessings.Through this experience it has truly helped me appreciate my amazing husband so much more. He is my rock that has carried me through this & I could not ask for a better man. He truly loves me & I thank the lord for him day & night. Greg has helped me to become a better person & look at life in a whole different way than I never knew was possible. There were two things that first came to my mind when I woke up from surgery. 1. I love my husband so much & 2. I want my little jaxie ha ha ha ha. I cannot stop thinking how lucky I am. If you were to ask me 3 yrs ago where I would be right now I would have told u single & just fine being single all by myself. But now its hard to imagine life without my Gregory or my little Jaxie. My two boys bring me so much joy & happiness that I have to pinch myself to make sure its all real :)

pOwEr Of ThE pReIsThOoD

Back in April some of you know that I had found out I had a 4 cm cyst on my right ovary,my doctor told me to watch it through out the summer & that it should go away. It was very painful & I had to have some patience & faith that it would go away. Well in June Greg & I went to a Gyno in Atlanta,Georgia because that is where we were living for that month. We were expecting to hear bad news, well lets say I was Greg was very calm but I always think the worse in every situation. To my surprise the cyst had shrunk down to 2cm & we were both so relieved. Since than I gradually started having more & more pain but just thought it was a bladder infection & didn't think anything of it,I mean well why would I? the gyno told me the 2cm would be gone within two weeks. WRONG!!!! This last Tuesday night I attended a relief society Activity about Emma Smith anything involving Joseph Smith & his history I try to go to because He is my hero & a big part of my testimony. I can also relate with Emma Smith on a lot of things. As me,my mom & my sister in law Katee sat & listened to this amazing talk I suddenly had a sharp pain hit on my left side and than suddenly spread to my right side, I tried to ignore it but it felt like a thousand knives stabbing me all over my abdomen ,down to my pelvic area, and to my lower back. Suddenly my legs went numb,I than started getting dizzy because of how intense the pain was I told my mom I had to go to the bathroom but as I stood up to walk out I could barely move my legs. I went & laid in my car to see if maybe it would pass . I texted Greg at this point & told him about it but told him I would be fine, next thing I know I couldn't concentrate on texting & just curled in a ball & started crying.Than my car door opened & it was my husband (this was all going on while the Emma smith conference was still in session) he pulled me out of the car picked me up and took me to my Mom's house he kept trying to get me to talk back and was trying everything but I just kept seeing blur & it felt like I couldn't put my words together to get out what I wanted to say & what I wanted to say was "I can't feel my legs I only feel pain,it hurts when you touch my hips or even when I move" I finally got out what I could get out & the only thing I wanted to say at that point was that I want my mom!!! He put me in the car & I just kept saying I want my mom I want my mom!!!! At this time me & Greg both were very scared because some things have happened to me in the past that may make it hard for us to conceive one day!!! So we were both panicking!! He made sure I had my little Jax to cuddle with and laid me down in the car. The whole way to the hospital I kept saying I want my mom I want my mom!!!We finally got into the emergency room & after the nurse had injected the morphine into my arm she left & I could see Greg's beautiful face again. He than said "honey I am going to give you a blessing ok!!" after he was finished I felt this immediate feeling of comfort overcome me & this feeling of knowing I had the holy ghost there with me ,like his arms were wrapped around me. This was before any of the morphine kicked in too. As we waited, my parents & my brother Kyle showed up & him, my dad & Greg gave me a blessing before I went in for the ultra sound !!! The doctor wanted me to pee in a cup but I couldn't it just hurt so bad so they had to empty my bladder somehow & the way they did it added to the discomfort & the pain!!! The nurse asked when the last time I went to the bathroom was & I told her not since the morning because I try to keep it in because it hurts to bad to go. She was shocked with how much was coming out of my bladder she said it had to be at least a liter!! When the morphine kicked in I was seeing butterflies I was so happy & felt so good ha ha I didn't really know what I was saying my family told me all I kept saying was "I just don't want it to hurt when me & Greg have sex anymore ""Please make it so it doesnt hurt to ahve sex with my husband" ha ha this had to be very awkward for my husband ,my brother,& my parents & probably those of you who are reading this right now ha ha. The fact I was repeating it wasn't helping either ha ha. So what it all came down to is that the same cyst that was 4cm than 2cm is now 5cm and there is one forming on my left ovary!!! Bad news is I have to have surgery which means I can't start school back up til November 1,;{ but good news is I will not have anymore cysts to worry about & the pain will be gone!!!I just want to thank my brother,my parents, & especially my husband for being there to support me . I am so thankful for the power of the preisthood & that I am lucky to have a husband who holds that power.