2012-OuR mIrACle YeAR

Back in 2009 Greg & I made a new years resolution, it began with 'This year we start our family"! Since than that has been our new years resolution every year. Over the years we lost hope,we cried,we prayed,we begged and we cried some more. Times got so hard & we just didn't understand. Unless you have been in the same situation or similar it's very hard to understand the pain and the sorrow. Friends & family kept getting pregnant & we were so happy for them but we couldn't help but be a little selfish and think it's not fair? I would be lying if I tried to hide that feeling and nobody can tell me that they would feel differently had being in my position. On new years eve 2011 we made our resolution once again but this time with hope & faith that 2012 was going to be our year.I had this feeling deep down inside that 2012 was going to be the year.Though I ignored it and lost hope at times I always knew.I started Chlomed April 2012 and it didn't work the first time instead I got a huge ovarian cyst, it was such a disappointment. Doctors told us the next step would be invitro if the second round of chlomed did not work and I just fell in to Greg's arms and cried. How could the lord do this to us? I asked. I am so thankful for Greg because even though I could see how sad and disappointed he was he always held strong for me and helped me to look forward. All we wanted was to start our family and give our baby the best life possible. Over the years I really slipped away I fell in to a darkness that I wouldn't  not wish on my worse enemy. I did things I am not proud of to cover up my hurt . In June 2012 I had to get surgery to get that big cyst removed. My doctor ran tests while I was in surgery to find out if everything was working ok and sure enough it was, everything was normal.Greg also didn't have anything wrong with him so we just didn't understand.My doctor was positive that putting me on chlomed again would work this time and I got so mad at him sometimes because I felt like my feelings were not being validated on how worried I was the chlomed wouldn't work again and how worried I was that he wasn't more worried. He just kept assuring me everything was fine and how sure he was we would conceive. So as I was on the chlomed for the second time I decided to work on myself and get my life under control and better myself. I focused on the positive . I prayed more,I never gave up hope,I focused more on improving my marriage and  improving my relationship with the lord.Sure enough on November 14,2012 after my third & last month of chlomed we received the best news ever our little miracle is  finally going be joining us on July 15,2013. I can not describe how happy and how relieved we were to hear that. When I heard my baby's heart beat for the first time I felt something I had never felt before !!! We were speechless and we couldn't stop crying. We finally did it .If you are going through anything like I had to go through stay strong and never give up hope and I promise the wait is totally worth it. We know that our baby is so special that heavenly father just wanted more time with him or her before he had to share this miracle with us. Here is to the year 2013, the year our little miracle will be joining our family!!!